Words from my heart for my Grandma; 2/5/11 ❤
Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught…but from my experience is learned from the relationship you have with yourself and the relationships you have with others.
These are just a few things I’ve learned from my Grandma:
I learned that life is short, even at 80 years old. And that I would give anything for one more day, one more hug, a last phone call. One more I love you, one more hello and one more goodbye. I learned that love is compassion. Love is being understanding, accepting and forgiving. I learned love just is.
I learned that nothing can replace the sound of a familiar voice and the comfort I felt when she answered the phone and called me “dolly.” I also learned in the last few years she could never guess who I was on the phone and always thought I was my mom, sister or cousin which was kinda fun since I would pretend to be whoever she thought I was.
I learned, at a young age, the value of sitting down together as a family for a meal and that you needed to ask to be excused before leaving the dinner table. I also learned if you misbehaved you will get hit with a flyswatter! (haha) I learned nothing compared to my Grandma’s apple pie or French toast- my favorite childhood breakfast that she would always make me.
I learned what it felt like to be, with no question, unconditionally loved. That you never had to raise your voice to discipline or get your point across. I know the time my Grandma, sister and I spent playing Hands Down after dinner, while my Grandpa read the newspaper sitting on his end of the couch, is one of my fondest memories growing up, a memory I can still see vividly in my mind. I learned what a home was.
I learned there was no better place to take a nap than on my Grandparent’s couch and that they didn’t care if I sucked my thumb past the age of….6. I now know it’s not smart to hide your hands under the dinner table if you have gum stuck to both of them because she will find out! It’s also not smart to play with one of those curling irons that have the brushes on it because it will eventually need to be cut out. I finally learned how to laugh with others at myself and life.
I learned it’s possible to love all your children equally and unconditionally even if they don’t all get along. And that hurt and pain can create character but can also get the best of you at times. I learned how to forgive.
I learned that as much as I love my sister I need to not compare myself to her or others and to just be myself. Because you cannot make everyone happy so you might as well do what makes you happy. I learned that it’s more than okay to stay at home with my children instead of having a 9-5 job because my children are my life. I learned she did the same and never once regretted doing so.
I learned how to love and how to be loved.
I selfishly said earlier this week that I wished my Grandma was just a “Grandma” to me- one who you barely have a relationship with- because if she was I wouldn’t be feeling this much pain, regret and sadness. But she wasn’t just a “Grandma.” She was so much more and if there’s one thing I learned most from my relationship with her it is this:
It truly is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all…because my life would be incredibly empty if I had never experienced the things I’ve shared with you today and so much more. The memories I have of my Grandma (and Grandpa) are endless and I am forever grateful to have had such a wonderful, funny, loving, compassionate and yes- sometimes very ornery woman as my Grandma.
Nobody is perfect but as you can tell- she was very wonderful. And she touched my life deeply.
I love her very, very much.